Hello, Hello

I am exhausted. and kind of miserable. I have work related anxiety, and I might just be slightly depressed. And that wasn't my intention of my Paris trip, it's just that it was so wonderful, and I am back in the throes of my very draining, overworked, exhausting lifestyle. And it's drab. I've really tried not let it get me down and to contain a smidge of the magic I felt in Paris, but I feel as if the life has been sucked out of me. And my skin is so dry. I have developed a rash around my wrists, and the air is so thin. I sense more irritability within myself and shortness. And of course, the most popular song at the moment is "As it Was" by Harry Styles. And it's not exactly a happy song; it's sad actually (to me), so I can't really enjoy it as I cannot seem to escape it. And it's not that I don't like Harry Styles or his music. I saw him in concert back in 2018. (Can't believe that was 4 years ago.) -Congrats to him for somehow being even more successful. It's just not what I want to hear every time I go online or outside. And now it will be forever attached to this time in my life, so thanks Harry. Wish you the best. Did I mention that I work on my birthday? :/ I haven't really put much thought into my birthday, but I find it kind of sad that I am the closer, so I'll be one of the last ones there... I just feel so melancholy. And somehow more alone and still more bothered than when I was in Paris. And now I am going to have to make some big decisions and steps in order to bring some more vitality and joy back into my life. That is my life here in America. Now that I have that off my chest, there are some things I have been pushing aside that need to get done. Looking around my room right now, I need to clean. I've unpacked one of my suitcases, but not the second one (which I had to buy the last day of my trip for everything I was bringing back.) At least that's one thing that makes me happy. Although it literally has a happy face on it and is a soft yellow, so it is designed to do so. Side note: I can feel myself getting fat and back out of shape already within the past few days. Something I need to stop in its track. Anyway, step one, clean my room. I need to review my Airbnb. And update my resume. I can't believe I'm turning 24. I could cry. (Not that I have been a stranger to tears recently...) And of course, I have SO MUCH to write about. And just share in general. I have come to realize just how easy it is to live your life privately. You could do some really amazing things, and no one would ever know if you didn't bring it up. Things just go on as normal. I feel as if I have been living a double life. Here's to just one extraordinary life.